Emotional Intelligence is a superpower and, just like fitness, can be developed over time.
This week, on the 2 year anniversary of the “Slap Heard Around the World”, I contrast the reactions of Will Smith and Chris Rock at the 2022 Academy Awards to illustrate a framework for Emotional Intelligence.
Will Smith has a valuable personal brand. In a list of the top 29 actor pay days of all time, Will has 3:
– $35M for Emancipation
– $40M for King Richard
– $100M for Men In Black 3
And on this same night he became only the 5th black actor to win the ‘Academy Award for Best Actor in a Feature Film’.
“Oscar Award Winning Actor Will Smith” should have been at the top of every movie poster. But after this failure of Emotional Intelligence, Will’s movies started getting slowed down costing him possibly hundreds of millions of dollars. He has forever damaged a very valuable personal brand. 💸😭
This is a very human event. And we can all learn from this.
Paul Ekman says:
“We cannot perceive anything in the external world that is inconsistent with the emotion we are feeling. We cannot access the knowedlge we have that would disconfirm the emotion.”
But we can interrupt the cycle by practicing Emotional Intelligence.
Here is the framework:
1️⃣ Name the emotion:
Identifying the emotion we are experiencing is the first step towards gaining control over our automatic responses. By recognizing the emotion, we can detach ourselves from it and observe it objectively.
2️⃣ Query the emotion:
Once we identify the emotion, it’s essential to understand its trigger and underlying cause. By investigating the emotion further, we can gain insight into why we are feeling a particular way and evaluate its validity in the given situation.
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3️⃣ Consciously choose our response:
Armed with knowledge about our emotional state, we can deliberately choose our response instead of succumbing to automatic reactions. This conscious decision-making process allows us to respond constructively rather than destructively, leading to better outcomes for our relationships, our personal brand, and our business.
Most have seen this brilliant quote:
“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”
The space is between Step 2️⃣ and Step 3️⃣. This is where you buy yourself the time to make your reaction a conscious choice. And protect your relationships, your personal brand, and your business.
